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Illinois Man Solves Age Old Question of What Attracts Women: Gators

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by hearit

hearit's picture
In The News

The age-old question of what attracts women -- or turns them on -- has finally been answered. For single guys, the answer may be simpler than they imagined: reptiles. Females get hot and bothered over gators -- at least that's what one Cook County, Illinois, man seems to believe.
The Cook County sheriff's police have seized a four-foot American alligator, from the kitchen of a man whom apparently kept the reptile because of its supposedly positive effect on the female gender. Whether the gator really helped attract females remains to be seen. It would seem 43-year-old Dewayne Yarbrough hasn't completely solved the issue of what attracts the female sex: he's had the gator for five years yet still maintains a 'single' status. The reptile was purchased for $200 bucks from the state of Indiana, Yarbrough now charged with possession of a dangerous animal.
Apparently size does not matter when it comes to keeping women satisfied -- or at least length isn't a factor: while alligators typically reach up to 12 feet in length, this one got a bit stunted. The reptile's been housed in a small fish tank, fed only 10 live mice per month.
Good thing none of the(plethora) of women made the mistake of a stray hand in that tank.
Police received a tip about the gator being kept in the Cook County neighborhood. It must've come from one of those really turned-on women.
Separately a Florida gator adds a bite of crime -- with video footage catching the reptile performing two grand worth of damage, in just seconds' time, to a rolling Crown Vic. He seems a little grouchy. Perhaps he should've taken some lady-catching advice from a friend in Illinois.


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