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Body Stolen Along with Hearse Returned at Cleveland Intersection

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In The News

A corpse in Cleveland, Ohio, was taken for a 'ride' by crooks, car thieves who got more than they bargained for while stealing a crematory's hearse: the genius crooks forgot to check the vehicle for possible 'contents'.
The Cleveland car thieves abandoned the hearse, along with a note saying where they'd dumped the body. Obviously the crooks weren't counting on handwriting identification by local police, which proved to be an accurate call. Cleveland Police found the woman's body, less the hearse, in a bag and on a gurney-and right where the thieves indicated the body would be returned, at a specified street intersection; no one stole the body in the interim, before police arrived-the zippered bag and gurney apparently deterred further criminal activity.
The deceased had originally been scheduled for cremation on the day it was retrieved, so the incident did cause a bit of a delay-though less of a delay than a 'manhunt' for the missing.
Computer equipment was also stolen from the Cleveland-area crematory during the break-in, a crime which occurred early in the day. Police Sergeant Sammy Morris says Cleveland police are investigating whether the hearse was stolen to haul that computer gear away. Well, no sh***--what, exactly, is another reason for stealing a hearse? Parts? It's definitely not an easy moneymaker for resale.
Surprisingly, no arrests have been made. Funeral director Jim Murphy says "the corpse was unharmed", though of course everything's relative-it's hard to make matters worse, after all.
The Greenfield Crematory of Cleveland has apologized to the family of the deceased. No word on the exact 'apology' or what is typically an appropriate 'apology' for such a situation. The crematory says it "was not unusual" for the body to have been left in its [hearse] vehicle, a car which was locked inside the company's building. The fact that the company routinely leaves dead bodies inside of a vehicle for long durations may be the most alarming part of all-apparently temperatures don't fluctuate rapidly in the area, at least not this time of year.

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