Fake Testicles Plus Elderly Woman Head to SC Court Jury in Obscenity Trial

by hearit

They may be ugly but they're extremely popular--particularly in certain parts of the country. While the general public suffers in being stuck behind trucks offering a view of 'Bulls Balls' or the like, police in a little SC town want a jury to say an elderly woman is obscene for driving a pickup truck with fake and hanging 'testicles'.
 
They're most commonly seen on trucks driven by guys -- but apparently this South Carolina vehicle belongs to a 65-year-old woman. And the law wants to see her busted, for almost five hundred bucks.
 
Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda gave the elderly Virginia Tice one expensive citation in early July -- for displaying hanging testicles from the back of her truck. It seems the woman was spotted at a local convenience store by a police officer -- which, of course, opens a realm of jokes. Unlike states such as California where the fake testicles are prevalent, South Carolina law aims to ban the stuff that describes "sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body." Basically stickers, decals or other 'devices' are deemed offensive when offensive as determined by contemporary community standards. The SC law seems to maintain a wide open space in its attack on potential obscenity. For now the older woman is stuck with a pretty hefty fine of up to $445.
 
Obscenity and the law is always highly-debated, so it's no surprise that a law firm -- which of course equals some free exposure -- has taken on the case for free. Lawyer Scott Bischoff of Charleston law firm Savage & Savage will be handling the case of the hanging balls. Bischoff says his client is "such a sweet lady" and doesn't want to pay the fine. Of course most people don't exactly look forward to a 'donation' of personal funds to local law enforcement. So the hanging testicles citation is headed for a jury that will determine whether those fake testicles are really criminal -- just not yet, since the 65-year-old is going out of town which as equaled a slight delay in pushing the obscenity trial more toward August 2011.
 
The older woman's attorney, Scott Bischoff, says he doesn't "want to take away from the importance of free speech, but it's really comical." He's kind of right on that point. It's probably more comical than the experience of getting to see those fake testicles hanging from trucks on freeways and highways across the nation. But what may be far more humorous yet is jury selection. Some very confused jurors may wonder why they're stuck taking off work, all to determine whether a 65-year-old woman is technically obscene.
 
Apparently police in small towns do their research independently, online. In a prime quote: Officer Fuda of Bonneau -- the policeman who issued the almost-$500 ticket for fake testicles, says: "I went to (a) few websites that said, excuse the expression, 'show your nuts,'" he said. "I didn't see anywhere it said support your local proctologist or farmer." The cop doesn't seem too fond of the idea of fake testicles falling under the protection of free speech, the South Carolina officer noting that if those rubber or plastic testicles are considered free speech, he doesn't "know what they would be trying to express." The policeman says he visited a few websites that touted the idea to "show your nuts".
 
There's a very big market for fake testicles -- perhaps bigger than most are even aware. Branded under the popular names 'Big Boy Nuts', 'Bulls Balls' and 'Truck Nutz', among others, those 'ball's aren't cheap: A proper set can run up to forty bucks easily. And there's a wide selection of not just colors but finishes that include matte or metallic colors, and even specialty options -- like 'testicles' adorned with flames, camouflage patterns or -- for the patriotic -- even American flags. No stone has been left unturned in the fakes testicles market. Companies also now offer extras like a complete 'Fifteen Inch Chain and Brass Lock Kit' for an extra ten bucks, to secure those 'balls' by padlock -- to help effectively reduce theft of such a prized possession. Even bikers can have 'balls' -- albeit smaller ones. A reduced-size version has been introduced to hang from motorcycles, ATVs and even golf carts. Somethings says the testicle reproductions are meant for those carts that don't ever reach a course.
 
Some U.S. states have battled to outlaw the plastic or rubber 'testicles' -- but, as of now, no lawmaker has proved legally successful in ridding the nation of the now-common form of expression. Perhaps that fact should've been a consideration for Bonneau and its officer, in providing some insight as to legality of the obscenity citation.
 
If anyone suspected that hanging (supposed) representation of 'power' and virility would ever head to court, the form of an obscenity trial probably wasn't the first guess. Suspecting the subject of hanging testicles would involve an elderly woman really wouldn't have topped the list. Perhaps South Carolina law enforcement just wants to be 'first'. But that may well be a first in foolishness. Unless the prosecutor is able to find a very sympathetic jury, the South Carolina city may look more ridiculous in the long run than those 'balls' themselves.

Location