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Florida Fourth of July Turns Red White and Blue Over Blonde Streak

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by hearit

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Happened: 
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She turned red, he turned white--and things turned very blue for both--over Fourth of July in the Florida Keys. As it turned out, it was all over the color yellow. It seems a blonde streak is more dangerous than a mean streak--or, possibly, can lead to one.
 
Kerwyn Mearns was drinking poolside with Patricia Shrader, in the Florida Keyes over Independence Day, when the man made what was (in hindsight) a very poor judgment call. He decided to comment on his fiancee's new hairdo.
 
Mearns used the tried-and-true "you're such a blonde" joke with his girl, who had just had been to the hairdresser -- having a single blonde streak added to her hair.
 
51-year-old Patricia Shrade ended Independence Day with domestic violence and battery charges in Key West. She allegedly chose to bite her husband-to-be's right nipple. That bite occurred without warning -- not that warning would have made the scenario much better, or less painful. But the nipple bite was only the start: The fight that continued at home became far more bizarre -- or, at least, far more dangerous than one irritated nipple.
 
Never go to bed angry. Or, at least, never go to bed with an angry woman. While Mearns lay in bed, Patricia Shrader had not forgotten the blonde joke. She stabbed the bed with an 8"-inch blade -- a kitchen knife that was apparently found to be on hand. It seems she wasn't aiming for the heart, but she did apparently target the same target that had been the butt of Mearns' joke: Police found multiple stab marks in the bed's mattress "near the resting area of a person's head."
 
Amazingly, it seems wedding plans are not called off for the Key West couple -- at least for now. The man told cops he was never in fear during the scenario, including the mattress-stabbing that surrounded his head. God knows what may lay in the future for any wedding event involving the pair. A wedding between these two may well surpass the union of a Florida couple where the bride was arrested just hours following the wedding itself -- after shenanigans at a nightclub "reception" that ended in bites for her husband, not kisses.
 
One thing is for sure: If this guy plans to have kids, he'd best consider avoiding any "hairdo" jokes pertaining to other regions of the body.

Location

Monroe County Sheriff's Office
5525 College Road
Key West, FL 33040
United States
24° 34' 34.6836" N, 81° 44' 57.7356" W
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Average: 5 (2 votes)