Judge Accused of Distributing Acorn Condoms in Intercourse PA

by hearit

Police are accusing a district judge from—where else but Intercourse, Pennsylvania (PA)—of distributing condoms hidden inside of actual acorns, handing out the prophylactic nuts to women in the state Capitol complex. It’s a bit unclear as to what precipitated any such “corny” act by the judge but it appears to have gotten him “up a tree without a ladder,” so to speak.

A summary charge of disorderly conduct was filed Tuesday against Pennsylvania-based Judge Isaac H. Stoltzfus, a judicial official whom typically presides over low-level court cases as a district judge in Lancaster County, PA.

The citation from Capitol Police describes accused participation of the 58-year-old jurist as providing acorns to “unsuspecting” women, the citation claiming that those females were offended upon discovering the acorns’ interior contents.

Even judges need attorneys. Judge Stoltzfus' office has referred questions to defense attorney Heidi Eakin. Officials are telling the media that the judge informed police he’d handed out the condom-filled nuts as a “prank”—but unfortunately police are insistent that the acorn recipients didn’t find the judge’s actions humorous. If ‘guilty’ of the acorn act, it’s unclear where the novelty acorns would have been purchased by the judge—however there is an online retailer of condom-filled acorns which turns the actual nuts into the novelty.

The online retailer Rubbernutts insists the prophylactic nuts "are funny”—but includes the disclaimer that the condoms are for novelty use only and not to be used in any manner for birth control or to control sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Maybe the judge’s defense attorney can help spin that as a defense.

It’s unknown how many of the novelty acorn condoms were supposedly distributed by the judge, but hopefully he keeps his day job—the condom “acorns” run about two bucks apiece.