Perez Hilton becomes classless again with his infamous headlines: “No Coke Shame For Him! Bruno Mars Is All Smiles In Mugshot!!!!”
Says Perez: “Bruno, we know you haven't been in the media spotlight for very long but one of the rules if you ever get arrested is DON'T smile for your mugshot!”
Perez: you don't know the rules of being a celebrity because you're not one.
You may wish you were a celebrity, Perez Hilton, but no matter how desperately you try to convince the world of that illusion, you and Bruno Mars are from very separate worlds. Bruno Mars is a celebrity. You don’t have “wisdom” to impart—in fact, Bruno Mars is light years ahead of you in the PR department.
As to your statement: “Bruno, we know you haven't been in the media spotlight for very long but one of the rules if you ever get arrested is DON'T smile for your mugshot!”
a) You, Perez Hilton, are not in the media spotlight, period—which makes it impossible for you to be referencing “rules” pertaining to an area which lies completely outside of your area of expertise. And what does that mean? It means not giving your half-assed input or ‘wisdom’ in an area you know nothing about.
b) For those whom are in the media spotlight, considered a celebrity (unlike you, Perez Hilton), current effective PR methods and agencies actually do suggest a smile—the intent being that a jury and judge are more likely to connect with someone whom appears ‘warm’ or human than simply angry.
Let’s see, Perez: your personal commentary for Bruno Mars: “It's not a photoshoot, it's evidence that you got busted.” This becomes very, very basic, Perez. A mug shot actually is not “evidence that you got busted”—if you had an ounce of intelligence in the legal arena, or elsewhere, you’d already be aware of that fact. There’s also this term, known as “allegedly”, and one you seem completely unfamiliar with in terms of use. So let’s make this so easy that even you can understand: until a person is actually found to be guilty through the legal system, whether by trial or plea bargain, “allegedly” is the term you’d want to use—well, only if you don’t want to be sued. Karma and all that.
While you may prefer to be known as “the most hated man in Hollywood”, that’s really a misnomer—while you’d love to keep the “Hollywood” chunk of that equation, you’re not in Hollywood, Perez. You’re not part of it. The only part of Hollywood that is involved is similar to the rest of Los Angeles, so you may simply go by “The most hated man in Los Angeles” as a far more accurate description. As much as you’d love to believe that you fit in with the glitz and glamour associated with “Hollywood”, that’s not you, as the nation knows.
As to your “Hollywood’s most-hated web site” description, that one may work. But don’t confuse things: the insinuation that Hollywood hates you, because your gossip is just that good, isn’t the reason. Hollywood—and the rest of the nation—probably have no difference in any level of hatred.
As an aside--but equally annoying and leading back to “Hollywood’s most-hated web site”—the word “mugshot” doesn’t require four exclamation points following the word; in fact, many people would make the proper argument that mugshot doesn’t even require one. No one will probably ever confuse you as having a career in writing, or anything involving the English language in-depth. That’d probably be the reason that your “Red Carpet Suicide”, a publication so loosely termed as a “book”, was met with such complete lack of acclaim—to say the least. Thankfully for most of the world, many were thankfully saved from the experience--never having knowledge of your book’s existence. Certain things do make the world sleep better at night.
Maybe the “Red Carpet Suicide” content of the “book” was that bad, your actual signature was really that bad, or both combined within one spine made people shudder. It’s hard to tell. It does remain a fact that even personally-signed copies of the “book” continue to remain on shelves. Kiton has your “Red Carpet Suicide” ‘bestseller’ for a whopping couple of buck (quite a bargain for a personally signed, hardcover edition). Or, those whom don’t absolutely despise you can find “Red Carpet Suicide” at Amazon—starting at only $1.61 new.
In short, your “Red Carpet Suicide” efforts and results seem fitting—the work did in fact seem to meet its maker. Whomever performed the cover artwork, however, created work of pure genius—you, with your head nearly being stepped on, does seem on par with how much of Los Angeles and the nation seem to view you.
As an aside, no matter how much you push the concept--it’s not “Celebrity Juice”; it’s watered down “Kool-Aid”—a completely different market. Better get mighty comfortable with that target since you’ll never be making the “celebrity” factor. Exactly how many completely classless, loud-mouthed, rude and trashy, disloyal celebrities do you see on the ‘red carpet’?