If you really suck at sports like basketball, bark like a dog: the "Barking Dog Trick", which occasionally rears its very ugly head in school basketball games--most recently in a 2009 Grace Lutheran "Eagles" boys' basketball game.
How does the "Barking Dog" work? Pretty much just like it sounds: some poor soul gets stuck dropping to the ground, barking like a dog in order to distract the other basketball team's members, so that a team member can make his or her way into the paint and score. Watch the "Eagles" attached video clip to get the gist in 20 seconds or less.
Nothing screams "I suck" more.
"The Barking Dog" trick play in basketball games is only equaled by the poor sportsmanship of Driscoll Middle School "Rangers" coaches, the lack of ethics displayed in the school's and November 2010 championship game. Football coaches used what they dubbed the "Penalty Play" as some supposed trick play. The Driscoll middle school's football team deliberately used its own linemen to ask what the Rangers' quarterback is doing, while a school coach creates chaos from the sideline, screaming at his quarterback that the player's got the wrong number of yards.
The boys' basketball game referees didn't award points for that Grace Lutheran Eagles' "basket", so the guy on the floor can feel even more ridiculous for being on all fours. How do you ever live down that one--or the inevitable, associated nicknames that accompany the act? It'd probably be more appropriate to stick the "genius" of a coach down there.
The coaches utilizing these trick plays must feel like they're "real men of genius"--they should just crack open a Bud Light while they're on that court or field. Real men do use "brains" not "brawn", right? Yeah, and some use neither.
The attached Related Link includes an actual work of genius: the Sports Illustrated (SI) online version of the Ten Best Trick Plays in games (which could just as easily be dubbed the "worst") from Mark Bechtel: yes, the "Barking Dog" trick play ranks number one on SI countdown.