Every year, someone puts things in a strange place: A guy is indicted--police claiming he's linked to DNA samples for semen-tainted yogurt samples that were handed out at a Sunflower Market grocery store in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
It seems the government doesn't appreciate being lied to -- perhaps viewing it on par with semen in a wrong place. 32-year-old Anthony Garcia got an extra charge levied against him: The New Mexico's man accused of not only adulterating food but making false statements to federal investigators.
Cops came to the grocery store after a woman phoned police -- reporting that a Sunflower Market employee had handed her a yogurt sample she thought was instead a bodily fluid. Like, perhaps, semen.
U.S. Attorney Kenneth Gonzales calls the behavior 'outrageous'.
"No one should have to endure this type of experience simply because she or he accepts a food sample while shopping for groceries," says the U.S. Attorney.
No kidding. Women also shouldn't have the experience at work. But semen ejaculations in food products seem to be a more common occurrence lately. Or a very unique way of men 'reaching' women.
Like Anthony Garcia who allegedly spewed semen into New Mexico yogurt samples he was handing out to customers, Michael Lallana is also 32 years old. The California guy admits ejaculating into an "attractive" co-worker's water bottle -- but he says it's because "her lips had touched it," with claims he never thought she'd drink it.
The Orange County, California guy was just convicted in February after ejaculating twice into a co-worker's drinking water. He was convicted of two misdemeanor counts of battery. What's it all worth? Sickeningly, just 180 days in jail -- plus three years probation. At least in Cali.
The only upside for the community: Michael Kevin Lallana from Fullerton will now get to register as an official sex offender.
Michael Lallana worked with the woman at a Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach initially, saying the water bottle crimes were for sexual gratification. He claims the semen ejaculations into his co-worker's water were because he "felt that was as close as he could get" to the 29-year-old woman. Considering that absolute creepiness, the woman may be thankful that was as close as he could get.
Lallana's attorney Eduardo Madrid claimed his client shouldn't be subjected to misdemeanor assault and battery charges, claiming, "There was no application of force." The defense attorney insisted: "It doesn't make any sense. How could there be an assault? [since the victim] wasn't even there." The girl who drank the semen-infected water in January 2010 obviously felt otherwise.
It all happened at an Orange County mortgage company where Lallana allegedly entered the woman's office to deposit semen into a water bottle left on his co-worker's desk. She then drank the water bottle's contents -- semen and all -- then tossed it after feeling sick.
Unfortunately for the California victim, when she and six other employees were transferred to another office three months later, the depositor was also sent to the new Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company location in Orange, California -- where the guy struck again.
When she took a sip from the bottle and again felt sick, she was smart enough to send the bottle and its contents out to a private lab for testing. The result: The water contained a foul inclusion and DNA linked the semen back to Lallana.
The yogurt guy in New Mexico hasn't entered a plea to the two counts, and has been ordered jailed until a detention hearing slated for July 22 -- the former market employee now assigned public defender John Van Butcher, a lawyer who is apparently remaining comment-free. For now, no one knows the reason Garcia allegedly added semen to the yogurt he was giving out. A three-page indictment against him says the New Mexico guy handed out tainted yogurt samples at a Sunflower Market in Albuquerque in January 2011 -- the employee officially fired from the grocery store on January 25.
And Sunflower Market isn't talking about which Albuquerque location had those infamous yogurts dispensed.
The U.S. Attorney says he'll vigorously pursue anyone deliberately tainting food products -- whether it's for the purpose of harming innocent customers, as a malicious prank, or for deviant sexual gratification. FDA investigators interviewed Garcia in March. The indictment said he falsely claimed not to know that the spoon he handed the customer contained semen.
When cops tested the 'yogurt', they discovered semen in the food -- then made sure it was Garcia through DNA testing. Police dragged Garcia into custody July 13 in Albuquerque, the guy arrested by police and accompanied by U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) officials.
Sunflower Market has apparently expressed its belief the FDA and federal prosecutors are going to be leaving the store alone -- with no intent to pursue legal action against the company over the semen-tainted yogurt incident. Lew Phelps from Sunflower says the grocery store "views this as a rogue employee who acted alone."
Particularly in this case, acting "alone" is better than acting together.