Four out of ten people snore in the UK -- and Crowne Plaza plans to do something about it: The hotel chain introduces "snore absorption rooms" at new locations--but also introduces human "Snore Monitors" to 'patrol' Britain hotel floors. Those would be humans, basically lurking to report snoring offenders. It's invasive, and its creepy to the tenth power.
Crowne Plaza becomes the first hotel to test its "snore absorption" rooms at 10 hotels. Right now, those in the United States are being left out of what could turn to an angry process among hotel-stayers. The "snore absorption" hotel testing will take place in Europe and the Middle East.
More importantly are the six locations in Britain that have already implemented "snore patrols" in July 2011 -- apparently in efforts to regain rule over those noisy sleepers.
London 'guards' get the job of roaming hotel corridors throughout designated quiet zones of Crowne Plaza hotels that lie in the cities of London, Leeds and Manchester. The job description for "Snore Monitors" is simple, though potentially a bit intrusive: "Snore Monitors" listen for 'offensive noises' and knock on the doors of those guests who are snoring too loudly. The idea of being woken up -- out of a dead sleep -- will surely go over well with paying hotel guests who simply want a good night's rest. The idea may go over even less well with paid hotel employees, who may end up hearing other 'offensive noises' they may have preferred to avoid.
Says one Crowne Plaza employee who works the 'snore floor': "We have quiet zones on two floors of the [Crowne] hotel. As "Snore Monitor", I conduct floor walks to check for noise disruptions, paying particular attention to the quiet zone rooms," says the 'Snore Monitor' at Leeds Crowne Plaza hotel in northern England, Laura Simpson.
"Guests can ask to stay in our quiet zone rooms if they are particularly light sleepers."
However, repeat [snoring] offenders will be offered an alternative room away from the "quiet zone" for their next stay.
So now it's not just cops concerned with creating a rap sheet for private citizens.
"If guests do continue to make [snoring] noise we will suggest that the quiet zone is not really an area for them, and that they would probably be better off in one of our normal rooms," claims Crowne Plaza's Simpson.
Or, perhaps, guests simply decide they're better off in a different hotel altogether.
Back to the sound proof testing. Snore-proof rooms are also being tested by the hotel brand that's owned by the InterContinental Hotels (ICH) Group -- and those sound a lot less creepy than employees lurking outside of individual hotel rooms, listening to your every move -- including those you possibly don't want them to hear.
Guests in parts of Europe and the Middle East can instead check out a "snore absorption room" for testing. The hotel claims the room's got the latest 'snore control technology' to reduce noise. Those hotel rooms have got sound proofing on the walls and headboards, anti-snoring pillows and white noise machines -- all features designed to make snoring better, for at least one. Spokesman for Crowne Plaza Tom Rowntree says: "We've all been there — lying wide awake at three o'clock in the morning burying our head under a pillow to drown out our partner's snoring."
"There's nothing worse than being kept up all night, that's why we've designed this specific snore absorption room to help give our guests a great night's sleep," says Rowntree. That may be the case, Tom, but kick down the bucks to make the whole place snore-proof -- and get rid of those "Snore Monitors", before Crowne Plaza's got one hell of a stalking case to defend.